66 ~ Liquid Love

By Kay Heitsch

Shortly after Todd's death, I decided to buy a Bible. In his books, Dr. Peale suggested buying a Bible and highlighting verses that speak directly to you.

I didn't want to spend much if I didn't like it, so I bought a cheap paperback. I figured I'd give it a go. I bought some colored markers and pencils and just opened the book.

Every day, when I opened the Bible, I would open it to John 18:38. It read, "What is truth?" I'd say to myself, "That's exactly what I want to know."

It was interesting how many verses seemed to speak directly to me. I started to highlight one verse after another. I was learning a lot and also unlearning things I had been taught that were wrong.

One day, I was reading about the man who had been lying by the pool of Bethesda for 38 years, waiting to get well, when the water moved. (John 5:1-9)

I was 38 years old at the time. I wanted to be healed, too, of my emotional pain. Like this man, I enjoyed the attention I received after Todd died. If I moved forward, would this attention stop?

I was at a breaking point. I knew I couldn't go on by myself anymore. I was trying, Lord knows. Putting Dr. Peale's tips into practice was somewhat easy before Todd died. Now it wasn't.

I knelt down and gave Todd and myself to the LORD. I asked Him to please bring something positive out of Todd's death, and if He could use me, I was available. I wanted to get well.

I felt a flood of what I call liquid love flow through my entire body. I knew God was going to heal me and make something positive out of Todd's death.

I praise God for this paperback Bible and for the time I've spent studying it. This book has changed my thinking and life!

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18