21 ~ Free To Be Me

By Kay Heitsch

After Mom's funeral, I had a sense of freedom. I didn't know my Dad very well because of his lifestyle. Now that Mom was gone, my Dad and I were going to get to know each other better.

Before we left for home, Dad suggested that we all go out to one of the bars in town. Mom would not have approved!

When I was little, Mom had a friend who owned a Coffee Shop in town. It was connected to the Hotel. When her friend was short on help, she would call my mom to see if she would come in.

Mom enjoyed helping out, waiting on tables. However, she would not serve alcohol. If someone orders a drink, another waitress must serve it.

I look back and see how devoted Mom was to her now-religious beliefs. I may not have agreed, but I do admire someone who stands up for what they believe.

Mom didn't always live like this. She would drink, smoke, and dance right along with my Dad. Once in a while, Mom would say how much she loved to dance. I don't think she missed smoking or drinking, though.

I don't know when she got involved with this religion and changed. I know it was after I was born.

When Mom would work at the Coffee Shop, my Dad would babysit me. Dad would take me to the Moose or another bar in town. I liked going with him. Everyone was friendly and seemed to really like me. I enjoyed being around these people.

My Dad did not drink at home. I never saw beer or alcohol in the house. However, Dad drank a lot in several places all around the area. His drinking and behavior when drunk were a big problem.

When we got home from the funeral, Bill and I started going out on weekends to a club with a group of people. This club always had a live band and a nice dance floor. It was fun because most people loved to dance. We had a lot of fun!

Sherry and Jim always wanted to babysit Todd, so we were free to stay late, and Sherry would bring Todd over later in the morning.

I was now going to be experiencing life in a different direction. God had taught me from Sue that drugs were not going to fill the emptiness in my heart. I now think, "Thereby the grace of God go I."

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

20 ~ Poor Timing

By Kay Heitsch

Every person's death is different. I was 23 when Mom died. I loved my Mom, but when she died, I had a feeling of freedom. I always felt this pressure to accept her religious beliefs, but now I was free to be me.

The minister who had conducted my Mom's funeral didn't waste time coming to my Dad's house and informing me that I was now removed from their church membership.

My Mom must have been paying whatever was required to keep me on their church books.

When I think back, this was poor timing and very unkind, but at the time, I was happy to be rid of the whole religious group.

Now, I even shudder to think I might never have studied the Bible on my own, and would have just gone along to get along. I praise the Lord that He slammed this door shut!

My Dad had no connection to this religious group. I don't know what he thought about the whole thing. We never talked about it.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

19 ~ Not What I Was Expecting To Hear

By Kay Heitsch

Right after Mother's Day in 1973, my mom called me to let me know she was planning to have gallbladder surgery.

Mom said she had just had a complete check-up. Now, she was happy to report that her results showed she was in the shape of an 18-year-old person. Not too bad for being 61.

Since we lived in a different state, Mom said she didn't want us to come there until after she was home from the hospital so that she could see Todd, who was now 18 months old.

The day of the surgery arrived, and I was wondering what was going on when the phone rang. I was expecting to hear that everything had gone well.

However, the doctor called and, in a hushed voice, told me everything did not go well. He said Mom had died in the recovery room. The anesthesiologist had put Mom too far under, and she never woke up.

All I can remember is that I screamed! This was not what I was expecting to hear.

We drove to Michigan, and as I walked into the funeral home, Mom's suitcase was sitting by the door. I'll never forget that. It seemed so bizarre.

I thought Bill's Dad and wife would send a card or something, seeing that my Mom was Todd's grandma. However, they didn't. Grandpa and Grandma Z. sent a card. I appreciated that.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

18 ~ Todd's Impact On Next Door Neighbors

By Kay Heitsch

When I think back, I had no idea how Todd's life would impact so many people.

On this next move, we lived in a duplex. Our next-door neighbors did not have any children. They were older than us and had decided they didn't want to have children, until Todd entered their lives!

Jim and Sherry loved Todd! Jim set up a train set in the basement, just for Todd. Sherry made Todd a quilt. I think I still have it! They asked if Todd could go to church with them. We didn't care, but we certainly were not going.

Todd and I liked to dance in our living room. One week, after Todd had gone to church with Jim and Sherry, Todd came in and announced, "I couldn't dance! They didn't have a violin." I think he meant guitar, but it was funny!

Jim and Sherry said it was because of Todd that they changed their minds and decided to have children. They eventually had a daughter and two sons. Now they are grandparents and even great-grandparents.

I have stayed in touch with Jim and Sherry for all of these years. I know God arranged for us to live next door to each other for this time in our lives.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

17 ~ Todd Was Born

By Kay Heitsch

We didn't stay very long in this first move. However, I became pregnant with Todd. Dee gave me a baby shower.

Bill's dad (OBGYN) was not exactly overjoyed about having his first grandchild. When Bill called him with the news, his response was, "That's what happens when you don't take the pill."

Bill received a promotion, and we were on to the next store. This store's location was still in Ohio.

Many things happened as we moved from an apartment to living in a duplex. The biggest thing was that Todd was born. Little did I know how much this child would change my life!

When Todd was born, I was supposed to be in a semi-private room. However, they were all full, so I was put in a ward.

I met a girl there who was putting her baby up for adoption. She told me she didn't even know she was pregnant when she came to the hospital. I had never heard of that before, but I have since.

I came home from the hospital, and my mom came down for a visit. Later, both my mom and dad came down to see baby Todd.

A few weeks went by, and both Bill's dad and his wife came to visit, too. I'm thinking Bill's dad was curious about his first grandson.

Todd was such a good baby. We had a nice baby buggy, so I walked with him downtown and shopped since we only had one car. It was winter, but I bundled him up and put the covering over the buggy. The fresh air was good for both of us.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

16 ~ It Was Time To Move

By Kay Heitsch

Working for the K-mart Corporation gave us the opportunity to move many times. Not everyone would see moving over and over as an opportunity, but keeping that attitude helped.

Our first move was out of Michigan to Ohio. Sorry to say, while we were looking for a place to rent in Ohio, we were robbed again.

Our landlord was an elderly woman, and she let someone in whom she didn't recognize. They took several things, including some of my favorite clothes.

The day we moved out, helicopters were flying all around our apartment. It was time to move away from this area for sure!

We moved to a small town in Ohio. While we were there, we bought a little black toy poodle we named Shawn.

Bill was now an assistant manager. He was 20, but soon to be 21. There was a woman named Dee who worked at the store. We liked to go out partying with her and her son. Dee was a lot of fun!

I'm mentioning Dee now because she was going to play a big part in my faith journey way down the road! Little did either of us know at the time how our lives would change and intertwine.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

15 ~ Finding Jobs

By Kay Heitsch

Since Bill was now injured and not working, and my Avon had been stolen, we were in financial trouble. My parents were going to lend us some money, but it hadn't arrived yet.

I remember looking around, and all we had to eat were a few potatoes.

We had neighbors who lived across the street. Honestly, I don't remember knowing them very well. Out of the blue, I now see it as God; they invited us over for a spaghetti dinner. No one can tell me that God was not looking out for us!

Right after, my folks' money arrived, and we were able to buy food and pay our bills.

Since we both needed a job, we decided to go to an employment agency. I don't remember all we were asked, but Bill was sent to several retail stores. Bill must have said he was interested in business.

Bill wasn't even 21, but K-Mart gave him a test, and since he scored very high, they put him in their management training program.

I don't know why I didn't find a data processing job. I had worked doing that in a hospital and at the university, but it never occurred to me. I didn't mention that to the agency. I was only sent to one interview.

The employment agency sent me to an orthodontist's office. The woman at the agency told me to wear a short dress. All I needed to do was be friendly and cute. She said if the doctor liked me, he would train me to be his dental assistant. I got the job!

We now both had jobs, and we could pay back the money my parents had loaned us.

Bill's cousins just happened to go to the orthodontist I was working for. It was fun to see them when they came in.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

14 ~ Bill's Number Came Up

 By Kay Heitsch

When Bill and I got married, the Vietnam War was on. Every night, they posted the numbers of the guys who needed to show up for a physical to be drafted into the army.

Bill had been working in the shop when he was seriously injured on the job. His back was thrown out of whack, and he could hardly walk. Bill had to quit this job.

We were not on good terms with Bill's family. His Dad was furious that Bill was not going to be a doctor. I was to blame, even though Bill had decided before I even knew about it.

Bill's Dad did not attend our wedding, and he advised other members not to attend either. Grandpa and Grandma Z heeded his demand. However, his father, brother, and family came, along with Bill's older sister.

That said, Bill decided to go up and see his Dad, since he was a doctor and could help with his back. His dad had X-rays taken, and they found out Bill had a birth defect.

Right after this, Bill's number came up! Now, Bill was armed with X-rays and medical records when he went down to take his physical. The army personnel took one look at the X-rays and medical reports and gave Bill a medical deferral.

Had Bill not been hurt on the job, which was not good, he would not have had these records and X-rays.

Take it for what you will, but I see God's hand in this situation, and this is another reason why I praise Him!

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

13 ~ A Couple To My Rescue

 13 ~ Why I Praise Him! By Kay Heitsch

Having the words of the song "Jesus Loves Me" come to mind in the mess I was in stayed with me. For years, I wondered why this song? Now I know!

I didn't acknowledge God at all, but as I look back, I can see He was guiding me and sending help when I needed it.

We didn't live too far from downtown. One day, I decided to walk to town. As I was on my way home, a car full of men started to yell out the windows and were following me.

At first, it didn't bother me, but when they kept doing it, I started to think this might not be a good situation. I was still downtown, and a car with an older couple was parallel-parked in front of a meter.

I know I must have scared them, but I opened their back door and got inside the car. I told them what was going on, and they witnessed it. As soon as I got in their car, these men took off.

I have no idea who this couple was, but they were kind enough to give me a ride home.

Now I look back, and I can see that God had this couple to be parked exactly where I could get into their car for my safety.

Did I thank God at the time? I did not! But now I know why I praise Him!

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

12 ~ Right In The Middle Of My Mess

By Kay Heitsch

I didn't sell Avon for long. The fact of the matter is that my Avon products were stolen.

We had a dent in our car, and a couple stopped by. The guy said he could fix it right in the driveway. It sounded like a good idea.

The wife and kids asked to use our bathroom while the guy was fixing the dent. After they were gone, all of my Avon, along with other things, were missing. Another life lesson!

Hanging around with Sue and her friends gave me many life lessons. We were invited to parties where there were a lot of drugs, etc.

One night, we went to a party where all of the rooms were painted black! I was completely out of it when I went to the bathroom. I stopped to look in the mirror. I let out a terrible scream when I saw my face! I didn't even recognize myself! I looked like a demon!

All of a sudden, the words, "Jesus loves me, this I know", came to my messed-up mind. I stood there, not knowing what to think. I was having a hard time accepting that Jesus could love me, the mess I was. I'd like to say, this scared me straight, but it didn't. It would take some time.

Today, I'm thankful that I learned the sweet little song "Jesus Loves Me" many years before. It was true! Jesus did love me! He loves you, too, right in the middle of your mess.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

11 ~ Prostitutes and Sinners

By Kay Heitsch

I was very naive and trusting when Bill and I got married. We lived in a city that even today has a lot of crime. In fact, Bill's grandfather was murdered in his home in this city.

Bill's dad wanted him to be a doctor, like he was, but since Bill didn't want to, it didn't go well. Bill dropped out of college and started working in the automotive industry.

Since I had been so good at going door to door selling can openers, greeting cards, and even light bulbs as a child, and knocking on doors with my mom to ask for money for the needy, I decided to try selling Avon.

On my first day, I started knocking on doors in an apartment building. A man came to the door. He was friendly enough and invited me inside.

The next thing I knew, he was sitting next to me on the couch. I had a feeling this was not going to go well. I immediately jumped up and ran out the door.

I banged on the door across the hall. A girl around my age, 19, answered. I told her what happened, and she was kind and invited me inside. I don't remember if she actually ordered some Avon. Sue and I became friends.

Sue lived a hard, fast life. We didn't have anything in common, except for our age. Sue had 2 little children and was not married. I would pick up her little girls and take them to the mall.

Sue introduced me to her friends, who also lived a hard, fast, drug-filled life. These people were totally different from those I was used to, but I must say I was accepted and treated nicely.

Sue told me she had nightmares about me. For some reason, she thought these mightmares meant she needed to take care of me. I think back now, and I'm sure she was right. God was watching over me, and I needed it, but didn't know it.

I learned a lot from Sue. I kind of understood the text, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes enter the kingdom of God before you” Matthew 21:31. "You" referring to the Pharisee.

These people treated me better than the religious people I grew up with. Isn't that interesting?

Sadly, when we left that city, I stopped over to say goodbye to Sue. She didn't know I was there because she was strung out on heroin on the couch. I'm sure Sue has passed on by now. I pray she found peace, as I finally did.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18

10 ~ How I Met My Husband

By Kay Heitsch

I believe that once this English Composition Professor told me I had a gift in writing, this was the only reason God had me at this university.

I left the university soon after and got married to Bill. I was almost 19 at the time.

I had met Bill at the first religious school I attended. I can't say we were friends, but he did like my roommate for a while, so I knew him.

At the school, we had different activities where we could go on dates. They had roller skating in the gym with no music or holding hands. We had banquets where you could sit at the same table. There were some activities on Saturday nights.

There were no competitive sports. I say this because I only went to one high school football game. I attended that with a girl who lived next door to me in my hometown.

Anyway, I usually had some guy ask me to go to one of these school activities. I went with Bill to one.

I had a boyfriend who did not attend this school. He lived in town and went to high school. We were allowed to walk to town once a week. I'd time my trip to town when he would be out of school.

This guy was everything this religious school disliked. He had long hair, he played in a rock band, and he did not belong to this religious group. That being said, he was so kind and good to me. He was nothing like these religious guys at school.

Bill wanted out of this school as much as I did. So he graduated in his junior year. Bill is very smart! He would have been the valedictorian of the junior and senior classes, but the school would not allow him to march up on graduation day.

Bill was the first to graduate from that school in his junior year. Maybe others did after him, I don't know.

Sadly, the school refused to release his records to the secular university. So his dad, who was a doctor, went up and demanded Bill's transcripts. Needless to say, Bill's younger brothers were allowed to attend high school in their town.

So when I was expelled, Bill was already at a secular university, but he somehow heard I was on my way out, and he called.

One thing we both had in common was that we wanted out of this place. Now we both were!

While I was at the second school in Illinois, Bill drove from Michigan to see me. I lived in Illinois and Michigan in the summer, and Bill came to visit me in Illinois, too. We liked to hang out in Old Town in Chicago. Bill also drove to the university to see me.

In February, Bill and I got married. He was 19, and I was going to be 19 the next month. We have now been married for almost 57 years.

"Write down for the coming generation what the Lord has done, so that people not yet born will praise Him." Psalm 102:18